Divorce

Matthew 19:1-12

¹Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.

²And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

³And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

⁴He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,

⁵and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

⁶So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

⁷They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”

⁸He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

⁹And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

¹⁰The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”

¹¹But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.

¹²For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

I may have mentioned in earlier posts that I grew up on Country Western music. It is my dad’s favorite so we all got to listen to it whenever we were in the car. (I still can’t stand country music to this day.) In 1968 (and I remember the year only because I went and looked up when this song came out) I was sitting in the back seat of the car listening to Tammy Wynette singing D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Because I was 12 and not a very good speller, I had to hear the chorus a couple of times to realize she was singing about divorce. Even at 12 I thought that was a really strange thing to sing about and wondered why it needed song. What I didn’t understand then was that divorce pervades the culture and is a part of everyone’s life in some way, either personally or through someone we are close to. Unfortunately, the chorus was so catchy it still rings in my mind today as soon as I think the word.

Jesus is now solidly turned toward Jerusalem and is making His final trip into the City of David in preparation for the crucifixion. And the Pharisees are serious about their mission to find reason to have Him killed. Once again they push Jesus with questions, this time regarding divorce. It is important at this point to keep context in mind. These questions about marriage are a trap. Just as He hasn’t fallen for any of their traps so far, neither does He do so at this time. Also helpful is a little understanding about how the Jewish community viewed divorce at this time in their history. There were two respected rabbis who had stated opinions about divorce, one conservative (Rabbi Hillel) and the other rather liberal  (Rabbi Shammai). The Pharisees set a trap for Jesus, seeing which rabbi He would support. Jesus chooses option ‘C’ – neither of them. Divorce is never lawful for that is not what God planned for us at the very creation of the world (and marriage). BUT – since man’s hearts are hard and sin is rampant, divorce is tolerated. It you’ve ever been involved in any way whatsoever with divorce you know that it is never painless or simple. It is terrible and tears into the fabric of who are created to be and how we are created to live.

Sadly, this passage has been used to damage those who have had to suffer through divorce. It is tragic and outside of God’s will for us. But sometimes, divorce is the only way for people of move on in their lives. We are broken and sinful and divorce addresses that fact; it is never pretty and always hurts. But we cannot, on the basis of this passage, exclude people from the community of believers or set them aside because of divorce. Grace demands more of us.