The Character of Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

A few weeks ago, I was in one of  my least favorite places – the grocery store. I always use the “self-check” lane, I’m a control freak and I want to pack my items fairly specifically. There was an open kiosk in between two others but the lady to the right had her cart parked in front of that open stand. I walked up and said, “Excuse me” and proceeded to pull my cart into that slot. She immediately rounds on me and says, “How rude! You could at least say ‘excuse me!’” I’m not really a confrontational person. But – she was wrong. Immediately, I began to judge her. She was wearing pajama pants and clearly just rolled out of bed and decided it was time for groceries. The attendant for the self-checkout lanes (with whom I am friendly as we see each other in the store all the time) said loudly, “She did say excuse me!” But that fell on deaf ears. This lady was just in the mood to be offended. Now my ability to be a practitioner of the principles in 1 Corinthians 13 flew out the window. In my most derisive tone I said, “I am not going to get into it with you this morning. Back off, lady.” (So you see, while I may not consider myself “confrontational”, I do know how!) She proceeded to finish her purchases and on the way out looked over and said, “How RUDE!” To which I commented back, “No kidding! I’m looking at a living example!” Her response was, “Well, me too!” Suffice it to say – not my best moment.

Now I tell this shameful story to illustrate the fact that while I know all about these verses, I don’t always live them out very well. She was right – I didn’t start out rude, but I certainly headed there quickly. I was not patient and certainly not kind. And in fact, I was the epitome of arrogance in that moment. I don’t defend her actions but I’m not in control of her actions, I am only in control of my own.

The Greek has a dynamic quality well suited to the way love expresses itself in actions for the benefit of others. To love means to be (in Bonhoeffer’s words from Letters and Papers from Prison) the “one … for others.” Christian love expresses itself in outgoing, self-forgetful activity.

Lockwood, G. J. ©2000. 1 Corinthians (p. 464). Saint Louis: CPH.

Paul’s words here are a “love is – love is not – love is” pattern. You will find two positive traits that define love, followed by 8 words that tell us what love is not, concluding with 5 more positive traits. In these 15 descriptors we have a very good definition of what a life of loving actions (and suspending negative actions) looks like. Taken all in one moment, the list is overwhelming. And I believe all of us struggle to live this way all of the time. But here is where we examine and try to emulate the life of Jesus Christ. He was/is, of course, all of this. He certainly had plenty of opportunity to be rude, impatient, irritable, and resentful. And yet we never see that in His story. He is the epitome of love, even unto death for our sins on the Cross.

Clearly, I have not perfected the art of loving others as I was so easily goaded into a display of unrighteousness. At the smallest moment, I was derailed. But God blesses us with yet another chance – each day. I blew it that morning in the grocery store, but maybe next time I’ll be granted a measure of patience and the ability to hold my tongue, enabling an attitude of Holy Spirit empowered love to pervade the moment. One can only pray for such a blessing.