When Others Hurt Us

1 Samuel 15:24-35

24 Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.

25 Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may worship the Lord.”

26 And Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you. For you have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel.”

27 As Samuel turned to go away, Saul seized the skirt of his robe, and it tore.

28 And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you.

29 And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.”

30 Then he said, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the Lord your God.”

31 So Samuel turned back after Saul, and Saul bowed before the Lord.

32 Then Samuel said, “Bring here to me Agag the king of the Amalekites.” And Agag came to him cheerfully. [Personal note – “cheerfully” is probably not a great translation – “in chains” is the literal translation of the Hebrew. The “cheerful” probably comes from the context, as Agag was probably cheerful because he thought he was going to continue to live.] Agag said, “Surely the bitterness of death is past.”

33 And Samuel said, “As your sword has made women childless, so shall your mother be childless among women.” And Samuel hacked Agag to pieces before the Lord in Gilgal. [Another personal note – “hacked” might be an overstatement as to the violence. Could simply mean Samuel killed Agag. It could also mean it was very violent and bloody.]

34 Then Samuel went to Ramah, and Saul went up to his house in Gibeah of Saul.

35 And Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

There are a few situations out of my past that still have the power to cause me pain. I may not see the people involved anymore due to geography or death, but they can still cause me to “grieve.”  Sometimes it just isn’t worth the pain that would ensue over something that has no solution; better to leave it alone. That is where Samuel finds himself with Saul. Clearly, Saul is not going to change (nor does he change in coming chapters) and God has made His judgment clear; Saul’s family will not be receiving the crown when Saul dies. Interestingly, Saul remains king until his death many years after the events recorded in this passage. God is patient and the king He has chosen is not ready yet! But still, Samuel grieves over Saul. He grieves over what could have been and what might have been the outcome for God’s people. You get the impression that Samuel is genuinely sad about the way things turned out because he actually liked Saul before his ego took over. It is always sad when someone chooses the path of sin and godlessness. Even God is grieved by the way things turned out for Saul.

When others disappoint and resolution is not to be found, what is our recourse? We have only one choice – prayer. The only avenue you have for relief from the pain to pray for that offending person. This is easier said than done. Praying for someone who has hurt you or disappointed you can be so very difficult. Our sinful selves rise up and desire to withhold something as good as prayer from those who hurt us. This sword has two edges and both of them cut you. Withholding prayer hurts you a great deal, as it is in prayer that healing for those hurts can be found. But to bring an offender before the Lord, seeking blessing and grace for them goes contrary to human nature. I do not doubt for a moment that Samuel continued to pray for Saul even though he never saw him again. And that is our call as well – to pray for those who hurt us.

Jesus spoke to this issue in Matthew 5:43-44, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”  While it is a difficult thing to do, it is the best thing not only for them, but also for you, for when we pray for our enemy, it is not they who are changed but you. Your heart can be softened toward them and God is willing to take the pain if you allow it. Should you choose to carry your pain by yourself, God will also allow that as well and many, many people choose that path and live lives filled with pain because of it. Had Jesus decided not to pray for His enemies, we would not be the recipients of His prayers even today, as our sin causes us to be enemies of God. But instead, He prays for us as we are His, washed in the blood He spilled for us.

If you want to make a fresh prayer start for your enemies, try praying the Scriptures for them. I often struggle with what to pray for when thinking of those who hate me or have hurt me. Colossians 1:9-14 is an awesome passage to pray for friend or foe (or even yourself.) It is filled with blessing and good things for the person you are praying for. Many of the Epistles have within them words of blessing and peace. Use those words to form your prayers.  Here is a true act of submission before the Lord and action that will bring Him delight.