Forgiveness – You Go First

Matthew 18:21-35

²¹Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

²²Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

²³“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.

²⁴When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.

²⁵And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.

²⁶So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’

²⁷And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

²⁸But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’

²⁹So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’

³⁰He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

³¹When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.

³²Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

³³And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’

³⁴And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.

³⁵So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

No one will deny that forgiveness is one of the most important tenants of the Christian faith. We all count on the fact we are forgiven in the blood of Jesus, shed on the cross for us. And – and this is a big and – we are called upon to be forgiving as we are forgiven. There’s where the difficulties arise.

When we have been wronged, we feel that sharply – of course. When we have wronged others, well, that’s not quite as painful, right? We tend to feel that the offenses committed against us are worse than the ones we ourselves have perpetrated. Logic tells us that this isn’t true but our hearts and actions might point the other direction. Peter asks Jesus to define when enough is enough when it comes to forgiving others. There must be a limit, right? As He often does, Jesus crafts a parable to make His point about forgiveness. Our capacity to forgive must be vast; in fact far greater than Peter offers. (He makes an exaggerated offer of 7 (or maybe even 70) times 7. This would be a generous supply of forgiveness by anyone’s reckoning. But Jesus draws another line for us.

First of all in the parable, the character that represents God goes first when it comes to forgiveness. The King forgives the servant an amount of money that would take over 1,000 years to repay at the current wages set for a day’s work. Now that forgiven servant has the opportunity to display the same grace to his peer and refuses to do so. Which person do we want to emulate? The answer appears easy but when it comes to matters of the heart, we often times fail. It’s easier to hold onto our resentments rather than offer forgiveness. As with this unforgiving servant, those attitudes comes back to smack us in the mouth.

Forgiveness can be a sticky wicket. When we choose to hold onto our hurts rather than forgive them, we ourselves are the ones who are hurt. That resentment builds and destroys our interior world. Forgiving because we ourselves have been forgiven is always the first reason to do so. But the secondary reason of living at peace with ourselves follows close behind.